so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
