i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
