i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
