Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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