last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize