I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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