About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
