This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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