white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
