doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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