so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
