well I can't set my house on fire every night
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize