Dual....:-)
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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