i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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