I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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