Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
