holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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