My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
