I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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