Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
