I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize