id be glad to
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
