He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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