i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
