but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
