So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize