friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
