he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
