you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
