From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize