after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
