quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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