Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm at about main and main street
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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