C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
