so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
