Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
