the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
