We're facebook friends in real life
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize