Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
