What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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