Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
There r osticjed everywhere
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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