Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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