whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
