Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
