You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
