I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
