party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
In other news, I just burned my penis
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
