Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
