so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
