Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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