I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
