we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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