i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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