your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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