I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
