I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
