you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I need to calm my uterus...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
