I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
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