i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
