So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
