I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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