um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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