I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
