I'm really into asian looking animals
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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