He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
