What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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