He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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