In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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