Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
