I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
