Already got asked if we're dating
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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