porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
