Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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